Things that cant be described.

Life is hard if you are in the situation where the future people and your family needs you.

I am the eldest son of my family, but what does that have to do with my life?
I practically have to spend my time in the factory or company while i dont know whether that is called holiday or not.

I am working for free, in the sense of helping around as a clerk in my dad's company.
I seriously dont mind about the salary and stuff because i know this is what i am doing for, i am doing for my better future.

But...time is getting shorter as i have to leave malaysia and my love behind..
I want to spend time with her and i know that she is desperate in needing me too.

What more can i do? I have tried my best to persuade my dad but still, he is a stubborn man who never listen and only stand on his own way.

I am not complaining about working and stuff, but at least give me some time for me with my love, as ill be leaving soon.

1 month wont be enough for me, as now we practically only meets each other not more than 3 times a week. Duplicate it 4 times that will only be 12 days.

I bought 2 books which is important and related to business stuff, and my dad was like, "why buy that wo, should this and that, bla bla bla, sigh...why does he have to shower me with cold water all the time...?"

Spending time alone without her is like sleeping on the bed where the soul begin to wandering around aimlessly.

My life is never interesting, but she lighted up my path and showed me whats fun and love are made of.

But strange, i dont feel warm, my heart wanders around all the time..i dont even know what am i doing now or what am i crapping here, all i know is the purpose of living isnt to be sad nor dull.

Dont be cool with me, cause i cant coupe with the temperature.

While replying, attention and the sense of love matters, lack of words and feelings inside a message will lead an opening sadness to the heart.

I choose my words carefully and will repeat myself if you want me to.
I apologize if the words i chose isnt relevant nor satisfy you.

Words may mean nothing to you, but your words to me affects my emotion and my feeling.

Sigh, what can i do or who can i ask for help when i am in need for help.

I need some one to talk to me, happily, cheerfully, considerate, caring, and the tone that i feel warm...all the time..

Although i am a HE, but that makes no sense that i should force myself to feel tough or happy when i am not.

I am still a human, who needs affection and tender from you like others do.

Partner shares the amazing bond together where not everyone will have.

As always, 3 words to you..my love...

ENd..