I felt so guilty from yesterday till now, although i don't know why.
Jealousy, selfish, narrow-minded, cry baby and etc which now u may think im a loser. Its ok and normal for you to think that way because i nvr felt these before.
Pathetic as always, continuous questions from me always annoys you and perhaps you are right, i have to learn to shut up.
I thought by confessing to you might be better cause of no secrets between loving couples will be perfect, thats y i asked a lot of things from you. Which now proven to you that im stupid and childish.
U may lost your respect to me but that doesn't change the fact that who am i to you and who we are now.
I am learning to share my thoughts, and secrets with you although i know it may disgust you. I know these will happen, but i want to tell you that i love you, so i don't want to hide anything from you.
I don't know how to say this, but i cant do this alone, i need you to help me to forget our past and to start a new life with me. I want you to love me, i want you to understand my stupidity, idiotic questions, pathetic thoughts and narrow-minded thoughts.
Its been bothering me since i told you about my secrets. Instead of appreciating how true am i to you, u felt disgusted and completely lost all your respects to me. But thats ok, i don't mind...
When i feel lonely, heartache, sad, pressure over my works, worries about you and how am i going to face this alone, i felt completely torn apart and confused.
Although i know my injured arm and shoulder are nothing compared to your sadness and hatred, but ive been punishing myself for being childish and stupid.
But please, its bothering me, im not happy with it and i cant sleep for the whole night including no appetite to eat.
I really hope that u can smile back at me and say, "its okay, i forgive you". Or not, perhaps you are right, im too childish to think that its possible for you to say. But i just want you to know that, at least i have passed myself, and my COURAGE to tell you the truth.
From the bottom of my heart,
I LOVE YOU..
Monday, February 18, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Confessions
Its been awhile since i blog.
Nothing much, but i have to admit that I'm kinda lazy to do anything.
Well, i felt bored, so i came out an idea on entertaining myself by confessing! LOLL!
OK, here i go..
1. I force myself to drink all the time although i hate to drink.
I cant see the reason why people likes to drink as beer taste bitter and it upset
your tummy all the time. I often heard people saying that guys who can drink are
opposed to cool, but hey, u look even hotter after your belly comes out, women
would certainly enjoy sleeping on your tummy like a pillow.
2. I'm not addicted to smoking, but i smoke. *i know i know, doesn't make sense aye?*
Although i know smoking are bad but hey, I'm 19, and i can assure you that im not
addicted to it. Reason one, i don't buy cigarette, and i don't crave for it.
I only smoke when my friend have cigarette.
3. I like games, especially online games.
Its a waste of time playing games but i can't find other things to entertain
myself other than that unless i am in Malaysia.
4. I'm addicted to snooker although I'm not good at it
Snooker are fun and addictive, thats what i think. No other comments other than
that, but it seems to me that my dad don't like me playing it although he
allows me to.
5. I'm addicted to "YOU"! <3 <3 <3 <3 You
Yes I'm addicted to you, I'm crazy on you, i crave for you!
Your lips are addictive.
Your eyes electrifies me all the time.
You voice, are so beautiful.
Your look, simply irresistable.
Your expressions, your emotions, it's on my mind.
Your smile melts my heart all the time!
Love that you gave me, it will be indelible.. <3
Although you are far away from me, but i will preserve this relationship! <3
Your faith in me, and us, will not be forgotten! <3
I confessed everything to you because i love you, and i don't want to hide anything
from my dearest.
I miss you baby..
and
I love you dearly..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy belated valentines day to all of you xD
Nothing much, but i have to admit that I'm kinda lazy to do anything.
Well, i felt bored, so i came out an idea on entertaining myself by confessing! LOLL!
OK, here i go..
1. I force myself to drink all the time although i hate to drink.
I cant see the reason why people likes to drink as beer taste bitter and it upset
your tummy all the time. I often heard people saying that guys who can drink are
opposed to cool, but hey, u look even hotter after your belly comes out, women
would certainly enjoy sleeping on your tummy like a pillow.
2. I'm not addicted to smoking, but i smoke. *i know i know, doesn't make sense aye?*
Although i know smoking are bad but hey, I'm 19, and i can assure you that im not
addicted to it. Reason one, i don't buy cigarette, and i don't crave for it.
I only smoke when my friend have cigarette.
3. I like games, especially online games.
Its a waste of time playing games but i can't find other things to entertain
myself other than that unless i am in Malaysia.
4. I'm addicted to snooker although I'm not good at it
Snooker are fun and addictive, thats what i think. No other comments other than
that, but it seems to me that my dad don't like me playing it although he
allows me to.
5. I'm addicted to "YOU"! <3 <3 <3 <3 You
Yes I'm addicted to you, I'm crazy on you, i crave for you!
Your lips are addictive.
Your eyes electrifies me all the time.
You voice, are so beautiful.
Your look, simply irresistable.
Your expressions, your emotions, it's on my mind.
Your smile melts my heart all the time!
Love that you gave me, it will be indelible.. <3
Although you are far away from me, but i will preserve this relationship! <3
Your faith in me, and us, will not be forgotten! <3
I confessed everything to you because i love you, and i don't want to hide anything
from my dearest.
I miss you baby..
and
I love you dearly..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy belated valentines day to all of you xD
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
shes my new life <3
I kinda regret when i have the chance to blog back in malaysia, cause there's so many things happened that i should have blogged it.
Well, things that i can rmbr was, my accident, snooker, *smoking and drinking* -but im not addicted to it-, working, nick's visit and cny.
oh oh oh, i miss nick...lol!!! NO IM NOT A GAY OKAYYYY?!!!! =P
But one thing, one and only thing that i did'nt put in that *RMBR list* Its you..it will be indelible in my heart...forever =)
I cant connect to the internet till now...cause my land lady and i agreed on changing to new broadband company which the internet has been dead for 2 days... *luckily i was'nt there for the past few days if not i would have been dead* LOL...!!
Sigh, i miss her...very much, i cant sleep, no appetite to eat and altho im not aware that im sick till i got high fever...i noticed that shes more important that anything...or should i say, everything.
Before i wanted to unload my bag, i dont actually feels like doing it and i dont know why, maybe im too tired, but then suddenly i thought of the teddy that she gave me, so i immediately took it out from my bag while leaving those clothing hanging around my room, yea, turned out to be a messy room then..
That time, i hugged it tightly, and cried. Well, i would'nt mind if u thought imma baby, but then that time i miss her so so much. I nvr felt that much of pain before till i have the chance to call her using my house mate's phone. *cause mine was screwed up*
Im actually satisfied of what i have now, cause shes everything that i ever wanted, everything that i need, everything that i could have ever imagined, everything....
Oh and one thing, the internet was a mess, i wanted a new crazy blazing fast internet connection speed with a monster look but not a *lousy internet that does'nt work!! well it works, but it cuts down automatically every 5 minutes, or even worse @.@*
Well, i wanted to expose here more about me and you, but i suppose you, and i would rather have it as secrets between us. =D *im smartttt ayeeeeeeeee?* xD
I love you dearly =) picture in my blog will be WA EH CHA BOH forever xD
------ S.K <3 P.L ---------
*oh yea, finally internet is working now -____-"*
Well, things that i can rmbr was, my accident, snooker, *smoking and drinking* -but im not addicted to it-, working, nick's visit and cny.
oh oh oh, i miss nick...lol!!! NO IM NOT A GAY OKAYYYY?!!!! =P
But one thing, one and only thing that i did'nt put in that *RMBR list* Its you..it will be indelible in my heart...forever =)
I cant connect to the internet till now...cause my land lady and i agreed on changing to new broadband company which the internet has been dead for 2 days... *luckily i was'nt there for the past few days if not i would have been dead* LOL...!!
Sigh, i miss her...very much, i cant sleep, no appetite to eat and altho im not aware that im sick till i got high fever...i noticed that shes more important that anything...or should i say, everything.
Before i wanted to unload my bag, i dont actually feels like doing it and i dont know why, maybe im too tired, but then suddenly i thought of the teddy that she gave me, so i immediately took it out from my bag while leaving those clothing hanging around my room, yea, turned out to be a messy room then..
That time, i hugged it tightly, and cried. Well, i would'nt mind if u thought imma baby, but then that time i miss her so so much. I nvr felt that much of pain before till i have the chance to call her using my house mate's phone. *cause mine was screwed up*
Im actually satisfied of what i have now, cause shes everything that i ever wanted, everything that i need, everything that i could have ever imagined, everything....
Oh and one thing, the internet was a mess, i wanted a new crazy blazing fast internet connection speed with a monster look but not a *lousy internet that does'nt work!! well it works, but it cuts down automatically every 5 minutes, or even worse @.@*
Well, i wanted to expose here more about me and you, but i suppose you, and i would rather have it as secrets between us. =D *im smartttt ayeeeeeeeee?* xD
I love you dearly =) picture in my blog will be WA EH CHA BOH forever xD
------ S.K <3 P.L ---------
*oh yea, finally internet is working now -____-"*
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Works...and true love nvr die
Today, as usual like always, woke up early then went for breakfast with my family.
Wasnt expecting things to be that interesting till a human resource staff came in my desk and asked me to her room.
Well, i followed her to her room then, then she show me some papers..kinda like criminal records, and asked why am i always late to work and went home early, i kept quiet then she asked me to write down the reasons on the paper and need my head's singnature. WELL, including mine too..
But guess what, ma reason kinda gav her a shock, and how can i tell that? Simple, i saw her eyes reading continuosly as if shes talking with the wrong guy.
Well, i have 3 papers...
1st, Out With Mr.Simon Soon
2nd, Out With Mr.Simon Soon
3rd, Out With Mr.Chairman
its not selfboosting or some shitz, its actually the truth cuz i cant drive atm..
so my gramp and my dad was like fetching me in and out everytime.
And i got 3 or 4 appoinments in a week, thats y sometimes driver are needed to fetch me here and there to see my doctor about my body structure.....
I dont know what happened to me, my arms and shoulder..doesnt seems right when i lift them up. Sometimes when im freezing during in night, my body will cramp, my bone will like SO COLD that i can hardly breath.
Well, i dont care much about it tho, sigh..missing someone badly are worst than anything. Promises doesnt work so cruelty shows up and slap me hard.
Many ups and down lately, my chapter or life are written by my father, jesus..so i shall leave it for him to finish my ending.
Altho peoples who we met are only part of our chapter in our life, but as we turn the page, we can have new chapter with the same peoples but other story.
True love never die, true friend never go.
I love you, from the bottom of my heary, tears ive shed and joy that i had cried will always be there.
Dont give up on anything, sharing burden and finding true love is not easy, it needs alot of confidence and courage to commit it. Sacrifice will be made if its neccessary.
I hope i can see u soon before my time comes the end...i miss you...
Wasnt expecting things to be that interesting till a human resource staff came in my desk and asked me to her room.
Well, i followed her to her room then, then she show me some papers..kinda like criminal records, and asked why am i always late to work and went home early, i kept quiet then she asked me to write down the reasons on the paper and need my head's singnature. WELL, including mine too..
But guess what, ma reason kinda gav her a shock, and how can i tell that? Simple, i saw her eyes reading continuosly as if shes talking with the wrong guy.
Well, i have 3 papers...
1st, Out With Mr.Simon Soon
2nd, Out With Mr.Simon Soon
3rd, Out With Mr.Chairman
its not selfboosting or some shitz, its actually the truth cuz i cant drive atm..
so my gramp and my dad was like fetching me in and out everytime.
And i got 3 or 4 appoinments in a week, thats y sometimes driver are needed to fetch me here and there to see my doctor about my body structure.....
I dont know what happened to me, my arms and shoulder..doesnt seems right when i lift them up. Sometimes when im freezing during in night, my body will cramp, my bone will like SO COLD that i can hardly breath.
Well, i dont care much about it tho, sigh..missing someone badly are worst than anything. Promises doesnt work so cruelty shows up and slap me hard.
Many ups and down lately, my chapter or life are written by my father, jesus..so i shall leave it for him to finish my ending.
Altho peoples who we met are only part of our chapter in our life, but as we turn the page, we can have new chapter with the same peoples but other story.
True love never die, true friend never go.
I love you, from the bottom of my heary, tears ive shed and joy that i had cried will always be there.
Dont give up on anything, sharing burden and finding true love is not easy, it needs alot of confidence and courage to commit it. Sacrifice will be made if its neccessary.
I hope i can see u soon before my time comes the end...i miss you...
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Foot prints..
As we grow, those who walk along seems friendly.
But as time goes by,
soon we will notice they are not the right one..
...meaning fake
.. backstabbers
. using u as a tool
ive seen so much of this walk passed me in my life, they arent leaving footprints in my life, cuz i rubbed them off and left new track for my true friends
never learn to say i love u
cuz after u get addicted to it
u are as good as dead..
But as time goes by,
soon we will notice they are not the right one..
...meaning fake
.. backstabbers
. using u as a tool
ive seen so much of this walk passed me in my life, they arent leaving footprints in my life, cuz i rubbed them off and left new track for my true friends
never learn to say i love u
cuz after u get addicted to it
u are as good as dead..
Monday, January 7, 2008
Song of the day 2
"Some tears never dry" and "So damaged"..both are my favourites!!!!
As i listen, i thought im singing instead of shayne ward~ xD
haha..how pathetic i might be? =)
Baby..
Some tears never dry
I used to think that we could work it out
I used to think that if we had some problems
I always thought if there was love around
No matter what, I always thought we'll solve it
Now everyday we're in an argument
It's like a circle that don't ever end
We're keeping secrets and we're telling lies
Whatever's wrong, let's make it right
Cause I...
I don't wanna say goodbye
Cause my heart couldn't take it
Baby, give me one more try
I don't wanna have to cry
Cause I know if we lose it
Baby, some tears never dry
Now what happened to our movie nights?
Girl, I thought that we would always have them
I used to make you laugh like all the time
Now I don't ever, we got a problem
Lately, you never ask about my day
And on the phone we got nothing to say
I get the feeling something's going on
Whatever's wrong, let's make it right
Cause I...
I don't wanna say goodbye
Cause my heart couldn't take it
Baby, give me one more try
I don't wanna have to cry
Cause I know if we lose it
Baby, some tears never dry
Let's talk about
A way that we can work it out
Girl, we're running outta time
And the thought of a break up
Is tearing me up inside
We can work it out
If we talk about it
We can show the world
That you and I are fighting for it
We'll get through the worst
And I know we'll make it
If we stay together
We'll make it through alive
I don't wanna say goodbye
Cause my heart couldn't take it
Baby, give me one more try
I don't wanna have to cry
Cause I know if we lose it
Baby, some tears never dry
As i listen, i thought im singing instead of shayne ward~ xD
haha..how pathetic i might be? =)
Baby..
Some tears never dry
I used to think that we could work it out
I used to think that if we had some problems
I always thought if there was love around
No matter what, I always thought we'll solve it
Now everyday we're in an argument
It's like a circle that don't ever end
We're keeping secrets and we're telling lies
Whatever's wrong, let's make it right
Cause I...
I don't wanna say goodbye
Cause my heart couldn't take it
Baby, give me one more try
I don't wanna have to cry
Cause I know if we lose it
Baby, some tears never dry
Now what happened to our movie nights?
Girl, I thought that we would always have them
I used to make you laugh like all the time
Now I don't ever, we got a problem
Lately, you never ask about my day
And on the phone we got nothing to say
I get the feeling something's going on
Whatever's wrong, let's make it right
Cause I...
I don't wanna say goodbye
Cause my heart couldn't take it
Baby, give me one more try
I don't wanna have to cry
Cause I know if we lose it
Baby, some tears never dry
Let's talk about
A way that we can work it out
Girl, we're running outta time
And the thought of a break up
Is tearing me up inside
We can work it out
If we talk about it
We can show the world
That you and I are fighting for it
We'll get through the worst
And I know we'll make it
If we stay together
We'll make it through alive
I don't wanna say goodbye
Cause my heart couldn't take it
Baby, give me one more try
I don't wanna have to cry
Cause I know if we lose it
Baby, some tears never dry
Song of the day
this is the song which i keep on listening~
its sooooo meaningful...just <3 it
(Damaged) lyrics
Remember those photographs we took on the boat in Spain
I took them down and ripped them up and threw them all away
remember on the back of one you wrote we would meant to be
that doesn't really matter now cause u don't mean a thing to me
baby you shoulda told me tryna to find the start
I thought I was your only till you put me on the self and found somebody else
[Chorus]
I never thought that you would ever do that everything we had is gone
said you loved me said never leave me maybe you just heard your wrong
cause im damaged, im damaged, don't know what to do, baby
im damaged so, so damaged because of you
got rid of those clothes you left like you got rid of our dreams
don't wanna be reminded of all of the memories
I use to have the ticket stamp saved from our very first date
but that don't really matter now cause you threw our love away
baby you shoulda told me cause now im torn apart
thought that I was your only till you put me on the shelf and found sumbody else
[Chorus]
its almost like you were never here
I almost feel like I don't care cause I almost got rid of all the pain
the only thing I have left to say is how good you leave me so damaged
[Chorus]
Girl I never thought, never thought never thought that'd you'd do that everything is gone
(everything is gone)
you said you loved me said youd never leave me maybe I just heard you wrong (heard you wrong)
[Chorus till end]
its sooooo meaningful...just <3 it
(Damaged) lyrics
Remember those photographs we took on the boat in Spain
I took them down and ripped them up and threw them all away
remember on the back of one you wrote we would meant to be
that doesn't really matter now cause u don't mean a thing to me
baby you shoulda told me tryna to find the start
I thought I was your only till you put me on the self and found somebody else
[Chorus]
I never thought that you would ever do that everything we had is gone
said you loved me said never leave me maybe you just heard your wrong
cause im damaged, im damaged, don't know what to do, baby
im damaged so, so damaged because of you
got rid of those clothes you left like you got rid of our dreams
don't wanna be reminded of all of the memories
I use to have the ticket stamp saved from our very first date
but that don't really matter now cause you threw our love away
baby you shoulda told me cause now im torn apart
thought that I was your only till you put me on the shelf and found sumbody else
[Chorus]
its almost like you were never here
I almost feel like I don't care cause I almost got rid of all the pain
the only thing I have left to say is how good you leave me so damaged
[Chorus]
Girl I never thought, never thought never thought that'd you'd do that everything is gone
(everything is gone)
you said you loved me said youd never leave me maybe I just heard you wrong (heard you wrong)
[Chorus till end]
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